Now kids, it's going to be a long trip

Remember that relaxation technique I tought you on our last long haul to Bangkok? The one where you sit comfortably, rub your hands together to warm your palms, and then place them over your closed eyes to shut out all light? Then you take a deep breath and think of a pleasant situation? Then after three minutes you will have gathered fresh strength, enough not to fight and drive your mother and I crazy fighting back there as we prepare for take off? Daddy's gonna wipe this seagull poop off the windshield...

[mumbles] nearly got it...

and when I get back in the plane I expect you all to be halfway to nirvana or this plane is not taking off.