I give you the President of the Office

Today, some task or other came to me because I occupy the bottom of the feeding chain. Not only did it come without context (Irksome to no end. Hates operating without the premise of why something is being done), but also the news that I was to perform the task was described as my "having been elected to do xyz." Elected! I didn't even know I was nominated! Had I known, I'd have worn a clean shirt and prepared a speech.

I don't even know where to start with this one.

But I'll give it a shot. Apparently, if you work in one of these








and your particular box is in a high traffic area, then you should not be playing this

... even if you are playing it only when you talk on the phone (work related call, of course). Even if you only play it because you are so adept at multitasking that you need to do something else when you talk on the phone in order to concentrate. Things like reading the newspaper are too distracting (leaving you agreeing with the speaker without listening to a word s/he is saying) and you have found a quick freeing of the cells (they don't free themselves, you know) is just the right level of activity that allows you to concentrate on the conversation. Oh no, not even then. For if you do you are clearly mistaken that you 1. have some autonomy over your conduct at work, 2. know best how you best perform, and 3. are not the benchmark by which others around you in the cube-farm base their own conduct. You are the most important person in the organization, because all others will see what you do and do likewise!!

On one hand, someone should have known better, but on the other, she could not have imagined the ripple effect that this little transgression has inspired. Also, never having worked on a cube-farm before but having heard similar stories, we didn't really believe they were for serious stories. Clearly, in her three years outside of the standard employment relationship, someone got a little too used to free will, something for which the working world has little or no use.

Can I just have this one thing?

Everyone. I don't care what your excuse is, and neither does Alec Baldwin.

What is important to Alec and I is that you go check your local tv listings and make sure you start to watch 30 Rock. Further, we expect you to love it and to tune in each week, because we love it and don't want it to go off the air. Further, Tina Fey sez that this guy will have a guest roll in the near future. And you know how we feel about that guy. Now Alec and I say get back to work.